Tuesday, October 14, 2003

JURY DUTY A friend got summoned to jury duty, but can't make it, so he's writing a letter to the chief judge (as required). I suggested the following text, but he didn't find it funny:
c/o the Courthouse
Raleigh, NC

Dear Mr. Judge:

I was pleased, and I must say, somewhat flattered, to receive your invitation to attend the "Jury Duty" event on November 5. I've never been asked to serve on a jury before your invitation, so, let me tell you, it was quite a surprise to be invited. A privilege even. It is my understanding that this is a "regrets only" invitation, so I am writing to you to offer my regrets. I can't make it. You see, Wednesday is a work day for me, and as I understand "Jury Duty", the juries meet on weekdays, usually during normal working hours. In fact, I think the "Peterson Jury" worked every day for weeks on end. I just can't do that. Not with my job, and all. Rest assured that I would make some time available if this were some high profile, Court TV covered trial. In that case, it might make sense for me to skip a few days of work in order to take notes and write a book on the deliberations process. Chances are, however, it's probably just some contract lawsuit, and that really doesn't generate enough media attention to make the time expenditure worthwhile for me. Can you imagine me trying to pick up women in a bar with tales of "promissory estoppel" arguments or the "statute of frauds"? Really! I'm sure you understand.

So, in short, I must decline your kind request for my attendance. Feel free to go ahead and make my reservation available to some other deserving Wake County resident.

Thanks again for the invitation. Like I said, I really am flattered.

With warm wishes,



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